Words Do Break Us

I'm sure you've heard the phrase, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." I still remember screaming those words on the playground as early as 7 or 8 years old. Yet, I've realized that phrase couldn't be further from the truth. 

Words DO hurt and remain with us well past the sticks and stones that physically hurt us. 

Even though most of my physical hurts from back then are hard to recollect, I can still hear words echoing in my mind that were spoken to me at that same age and beyond. 

"You'll never amount to anything." 

"You're a spoiled brat." 

"I hate you." 

"You disgust me." 

"You're a failure." 

"I wish I'd never met you." 

Lies that were spoken to me so many times and for so many years. Words that were spoken over me not by enemies but by those with the closest access to my trust and direct access to my heart.

I can still remember the shame, the heartache, and the knots that would come into my stomach when those lies were spoken over me. Sometimes, they were said in rage, sometimes overheard as they were whispered in gossip in the next room over. Or even more taunting sometimes, they were screamed directly into my face. 

The longer I heard the lies, the more truthful they became. The deeper they sank into my identity, the more I believed them as truth. 

I began believing them, thinking them, and speaking them over myself.

I'm not good enough. That's what I felt. That's the lie I believed. 

Living out this lie was a death trap, a downward spiral, if you will. The more I believed the lie, the harder I worked to compensate for my inadequacies, prove my worth, and mask the pain—all to prove and believe that I was indeed good enough. 

So, I began pouring myself into my academics and my career. 

I graduated summa cum laude in undergrad, earned innumerable academic awards throughout school, escalated up the professional ranks, and founded and owned a company with my husband. Yet, I still didn't feel good enough. 

Then, sometimes, when the pressure of proving myself was too much or the reality of having to face my imperfections along the way, I chose to cope with alcohol and worse. 

As the years went on and as I strove to prove myself, I didn’t even like who I'd become. And the very thing I was trying to prove—that I was good enough—I didn't believe could be real.

Receiving compliments from other people made me so uncomfortable. I felt so unworthy of them. Sometimes, I'd feel even worse after receiving a compliment because I think part of me believed I'd made the person who complimented me believe a lie.

From the outside, I looked good. I had "made it" in the American sense of the phrase. I had an amazing husband, healthy children, a successful company with a thriving team, and more. Yet even still, longed for what others had, the success they had, the material things they had, the power they had, and the list goes on.

I continued to seek to earn my worth, but every way I tried came up short.

It wasn't until I was awakened to Jesus and His goodness and mercy that I was forever changed.

I began to see others and myself through God's eyes. This allowed me to forgive others and to ask others for forgiveness. Just as importantly, I began to forgive myself, too.

I quit striving to control my life and do life in my own strength. I surrendered to His will and His way. 

I began to believe again. I quit taking every word spoken to me so cynically. I let my guard down.

And you know what happened? 

I experienced peace like I can't remember having, even in childhood. 

I felt lighter and happier not carrying around the weight of so many broken or dysfunctional relationships.

I had empathy again. I laughed more. I cried more. I felt more.

I began to believe the kind words others spoke over me or to me. 

And best of all, I began believing the truth that I am good enough.

I am not saying all this happened as soon as I began seeking a true relationship with Christ. This didn’t happen overnight. I'm two years into the process now and still have a long way to go, but it amazes me to remember where I was and see where I am now. 

I’m putting all this out here to let you know if you believe a lie that you're not good enough. You are good enough. You are created by God, and you are "very good." 

Image source: SundaySocial.tv

It doesn't matter where you've walked or what you've done.

God still loves you.

Those around you who tell you they love you and compliment you, they DO love you. They DO mean what they say when they give you that compliment.  

We're wonderfully and uniquely made and good enough, even if society, strangers, loved ones, etc., tell us otherwise.

It's all lies.

The Almighty Creator made us, and we are good.

Image source: YouVersion Bible App - Verse of the day